17 May, 1989 - After an entire month of his mother being in labor, Wade decides to come on out. At this moment the world was doomed.

 

                    On this day in history: The longest Cab Ride Ever spanning 14,000 miles at a cost of 16,000 dollars was completed. I always wanted to beat a world record.

 

 

June, 1991 - Parents divorce and Dad runs away back to Texas. He would only show up on his birthday from then on. He then started learning a lot from the T.V.

 

 A magnitude 7.8 earthquake off the shore of Hokkaido, Japan launches a devastating tsunami, killing 202 on the small island of Okushiri. This seemed to be the most important thing to happen around this time. Plus I like Japan.

 

 

1993 - At some point here, Wade throws his first punch. It was a glorious day. He also joined the Indian Guides. because the Boy Scouts are for chumps. He finds out he is part Cherokee somewhere on his Dad's side. Curiosity not withstanding, he also finds he is Irish, Scottish, German, British, Red-neck, Italian, and just generally a mutt. 

 

 

Top mafia leader Salvatore "Toto" Riina arrested in Palermo. Because every respectable timeline should include some sort of mafia reference.

 

September, 1994 - Wade walks up to the new kid and asks if he would like to be best friends. He said yes. Hooray!

 

The pilot episode of the hit medical drama ER airs in the United States, on NBC. I never watched this show, not even once, but T.V. has always been good to me, so this event seemed to apply.

 

 

October, 1995 - Wade gets into a his first fight to protect a damsel in distress, it is at this moment that his moral code of never throwing the first punch in a fight is started. His hero complex was also started here. P.S. He won.

 

O. J. Simpson found not guilty of murder. Wow. It happened that long ago and people still talk about it.

 

December, 1995 - Wade gets started on the path of video games. Sega Genesis sucked him in.

 

 

The publication of the last new Calvin and Hobbes cartoon strip. The world mourns.

 

1996 - Wade meets a sworn enemy. Cameran. He procedes to beat the tar out of him many times over the next few years, but always adhering to his strict moral code. It was also this year that his best friend moved away, but just to Bellflower, so it wasn't too far. At this time, Wade discovered that he got along with girls and most of his friends from then on were of this persuasion.

 

 

*it should be noted i don't actually know these people, it's just a picture, but you get the idea.

 

American President Bill Clinton commits $100 million to an anti-terrorism agreement with Israel to track down and root out terrorists. I sort of miss that guy.

 

March, 1997 - Wade reveals to the world his dreams of being an actor, astronaut, artist, comic book creator, animator, teacher, super hero, ruler of the world, and generally uber rich. These dreams have not changed since, except for the astronaut one. that dream is an acceptable loss.

 

President Clinton bans federally funded human cloning research. It's too bad too. The world would be a much better place with more of me in it.

 

 

17 May, 1998 - In fearful symmetry, Wade's Grandmother dies on his birthday. So symmetrical, 89 and 98. Wow.

 

44th McDonald's LPGA Championship. Seriously, I wish there was something else to put here because i'm really not feeling this juxtaposition, but this is all i can find.

 

1999 - No more visits from Kevin Wade Wilson, Wade's father.

 

Rock singer Dusty Springfield dies at her London area home at age 59. She had a fantastic name. 

 

2000 - Wade for the first time loses a fight. It was his 22nd-ish fight. He was saddened, but undaunted. Later this year Wade's most epic and ferocious battle takes place against his, from-then-on enemy, Garnette Harvey. Wade won this fight but because everyone was friends with his opponent the word (lies) spread that he lost. He also starts working on a public Cable show.

 

In a 'reality TV' record an estimated 51 million US viewers tuned in for the finale of CBS' series Survivor, in which contestant Richard Hatch won the $1 million prize. I was one of the viewers, but not by choice. 

 

2000 (the beginning of the next school year) - Wade was sent to court because of too many fights, even though all but one was in self-defense or the defense of others, and from then on decided to just take the bullying instead of teaching the bullies a lesson that they deserve.

 

 

Terrorists launch a small missile at Britain's MI6 intelligence headquarters in London. I love a good British accent. And that was the extent of my deliberation as to what to put here.

 

2001 - Wade is inducted into the Kids Day Hall of Fame. Apparently this is a big deal.

 

Rapper Vanilla Ice spends night in jail after allegedly ripping out some of his wife's hair during a fight.

You had me at "Vanilla Ice".

 

 

 

2002 - Wade's first in a long line of relationships that don't last more than a month.

 

                        The Canadian Dollar sets all-time low against the US Dollar (US$0.6179). Eveyone likes to make fun of Canada. I find the jokes hilarious, but always ask myself, why?

 

2002 - 2007 - High school sucked.

 

                                             Nazi-hunter Simon Wiesenthal is awarded an honorary knighthood in recognition of a "lifetime of service to humanity." How do you become a Nazi-Hunter?

 

May 2007 - Wade takes his best friend from before's two sisters to prom. They never speak again.

 

Sixtieth World Health Assembly. That sure sounds important. I guess I shouldv'e actually read that article though.

 

August 2007 - A lot of schools wanted the awesomeness that is Wade Wilson, but Otis got him. By summer 2008 Wade no longer wanted to be at Otis, because every teacher he had was horrible with maybe two exceptions. He then discovered that he did so poorly in the last semester that no other school wanted him any more.

 

Last semester - Wade discovered he was glad he was forced to stay at Otis, because he now loves it.

 

Today - Wade frantically finishes this timeline, swearing he won't procrastinate anymore. Again. Wade also does the math problem to see how much life he has left or something like that, the answer is : 27.39726

 

 That's me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's the list of links to the images I used. (in order of appearance)

 

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.yellowcabofsavannah.com/images/img_taxi.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.yellowcabofsavannah.com/&usg=__u-UysZwAoPV83qpXqltiZQxCmKQ=&h=332&w=500&sz=31&hl=en&start=3&um=1&tbnid=mTDKSiP-xNC1VM:&tbnh=86&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcab%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4ADBR_enUS288US289%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

 

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://z.about.com/d/racerelations/1/0/a/japan.gif&imgrefurl=http://racerelations.about.com/od/reachingbeyondtolerance/ig/Eliminating-Global-Racism.--0B/ICERD-Member-Spotlight--Japan.htm&usg=__JIgPWwB7GBR7WVYmJCEJV3qM88o=&h=302&w=452&sz=4&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=uniZrJ9JBn-74M:&tbnh=85&tbnw=127&prev=/images%3Fq%3Djapan%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4ADBR_enUS288US289%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

 

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.deviantart.com/download/58032325/Falcon_PUNCH_by_Coelasquid.jpg&imgrefurl=http://coelasquid.deviantart.com/art/Falcon-PUNCH-58032325&usg=__gSC6Af_RJcrHd21GYoEUDKP4rZo=&h=563&w=900&sz=193&hl=en&start=35&um=1&tbnid=ZrQG-3lnjrKWmM:&tbnh=91&tbnw=146&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfalcon%2Bpunch!%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4ADBR_enUS288US289%26sa%3DN%26start%3D20%26um%3D1

 

 

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/20080409/293.clooney.george.040908.jpg&imgrefurl=http://seriesjunkie.over-blog.com/archive-04-2008.html&usg=__AwSHPFOKgi7xrhqUobvhr2hZap0=&h=473&w=293&sz=32&hl=en&start=6&um=1&tbnid=GA9J9WuMFfAuhM:&tbnh=129&tbnw=80&prev=/images%3Fq%3Der%2Bgeorge%2Bclooney%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4ADBR_enUS288US289%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

 

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc275/thehousenextdoor/2008/Columns/Understanding%2520Screenwriting%2520Stempel/Column%25204/Video-Games-Posters.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.gamerchicksrule.com/content/node/356&usg=__14TO5ugOyI9uDOVAvn-fO6RvIGY=&h=425&w=304&sz=36&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=vN3Hqo1AfpyJqM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=90&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dvideo%2Bgames%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4ADBR_enUS288US289%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

 

 

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv107/KHans89/LargeGroup.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.usctridelta.org/dynamic/%3FAction%3Dshow_custom_content%26pageid%3D202&usg=__ZyVgr9RQRxNoQmgDvQzS16VcLZ8=&h=453&w=604&sz=80&hl=en&start=4&um=1&tbnid=7inGz0Bh6tiDXM:&tbnh=101&tbnw=135&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlarge%2Bgroup%2Bof%2Bgirls%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4ADBR_enUS288US289%26um%3D1 

 

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://moosemix.com/maxwell/CW-PAGE3/images/clones_army2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://moosemix.com/maxwell/CW-PAGE3/cw3-index.html&usg=__DzztirscRCUEIpwgsm6CLg2dDW4=&h=336&w=624&sz=67&hl=en&start=4&um=1&tbnid=GX_kv60Gqxn63M:&tbnh=73&tbnw=136&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dclones%2Barmy%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4ADBR_enUS288US289%26um%3D1

 

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://juvienation.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/080125-bully-vmed1pwidec.jpg&imgrefurl=http://juvienation.wordpress.com/2008/02/01/bullies-adhd-and-racial-codes/&usg=__2qoCBKoSQD42GR0l20HqZQjXKhU=&h=392&w=298&sz=15&hl=en&start=39&um=1&tbnid=5s9hn2lehDdrOM:&tbnh=123&tbnw=94&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbullies%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4ADBR_enUS288US289%26sa%3DN%26start%3D20%26um%3D1

 

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/20071112/425.vanilla.ice.111207.jpg&imgrefurl=http://celebrities.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx%3Fid%3D445672&usg=__NE5CbqtfxxNiSZ_KeDAayGdjNE4=&h=315&w=425&sz=26&hl=en&start=9&um=1&tbnid=GAO3pbKSNkcqcM:&tbnh=93&tbnw=126&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dvanilla%2Bice%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4ADBR_enUS288US289%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1